A week from Gehenna

Welcome young urchins to this my blog of complaints and insights into the world around us.  As most of you know I am currently homeless and staying at the shelter in Anchorage.  Now while this is a temporary setback it is still a reality and one I have to deal with on a daily basis.  I have been earning money through day labour and am trying to save some money here and there but trust one night in a hotel with a real bed is hella worth the 100 bucks.  Especially when you don't have to deal withthe drunks, spiceheads and just plain weirdos that are really testing me this week.

I smoke cigarettes I don't however smok pot, I makes me all paranoid and crap and I would rather be happy than all wigged out.  So when someone asks me for a cigarette I am usually very happy to oblige thinking in the greater scheme of things Karma will give me one when I need it.  No..Karma does not deal in Smokes.  Every person I have asked for a smoke when I am in need has turned me away causing me to have this implosion of hatred towards all of those I gave cancer sticks to in the first place. FUCK...

I tried to call my mom to no avail my cousins Barb and Skip are holding her ransom and I hope she is pissing them off with her constant complaining and bigotry, to be honest I couldn't really deal with it any more so I am kind of glad they have to deal with her and not me anymore.  cest la vie!!!

The one thing that I have been keeping track off in the news is this Edward Snowden guy.  You know I have said that I think he is a patriot and should heralded instead of indicted.  unlike the Rosenbergsthat sold secrets to the ruskies this man showed his own country that its' governtment was spying on the general populace, not that we didn't already kind of guess they were.  I mean come on really was it that much of a surprise to us all.  I really want to go to the local FBI office and see if they have a file on me and calculate just how much time and money was spent collecting data on me alone?  Some no good miscreant that has a loud mouth, go figure but that is what these agencies do.  there fore I think I will start wearing one red shoe and carry an umbrella just to really freak them out.  oh and carry an ol 110 film camera just for the hell of it.

What really bumbs me out is that Hunter S. Thompson checked out way to early and missed all of this or maybe he had the were for all to know where we as a nation were going?  I don't know, but I am glad to keep the torch going hell if they spend all their time on me then they'll miss the real threat to America?  Which is, Hell I don't know it's not illegal Mexicans I thin it's the Canadians but then again I really like them so if we had to clean up our cities like theirs maybe it wouldn't be so bad, eh?

Last but not least Doctors...I meant and spent the day a couple of days ago with a cancer survivor that I met totally unexpectedly by giving me a smoke of all things outside of Frd Meyers.  She was so awesome and understanding about life it was incredible.  She showed me her several wigs and was just so damned down to earth it was great.  I found out we share the some of the same meds me with my kidney problems and her with her radiation.  She is a big advocate for Marijuana and I have to say so am I, not that i will use it, because like I said it makes me wonky, but she reall needed to eat the poor thing maybe weighed 90 lbs and you could see it on her that it was wearing her down.  I have met and dealt with cancer death in my life several times and I am hopeful that she will pull out of it all. 

So, back to my original intent.  I was booted out of the shelter for three days because I didn't do my chore which was clean the windows or something like that.  I have thus repented my transgression and have done my daily penance so I can have my flea infested mat to sleep on rather than the cold hard concrete and exposure to the elements thank you kind sirs.  But then again in a few days I will be on my 30 days out.  It's 30 in and 30 out so camping it will be.  Pray for good weather.  Aloha!!!

Chanlyut to the toot

I need to rant about something and this seems to be the best place to do it.  I had some real bad issues going in my life and I tried to kill myself and I went to the hospital and then they moved me over to the crisis recovery center, which the people there are fantastic and wonderful. So after the CRC I was moved into the Chanlyut Program.  Oh lordy,what do I have to say about that place.  Chanlyut is a program for people coming right of jail and well I wasn't coming right out of jail.  So I went into Chanlyut which is a big house full of ex-cons and drug abusers and you know my robitussin addiction is always on my mind.  fuck you whoever makes robitussin I should sue your ass for destroying my life you mother , no wait motherfuckers is to good for them lets see...Trash can Fuckers there you go.

So any ways, I go in to the big house of Chanlyut and am immediateley thrown into a working crew that does the janitorial services for CITC (Cook inlet tribal council).  so I did it I went to work and did that for a while a like few weeks and then they had me working with a crazy guy in the kitchen that made the worst kinds of diners that are out there.  There was mouse shit in the pancake batter boxes and he just told me to scoop around it.  What it came down to was that the guy wanted his friend to be at the house crew and started trying to trip me up so I would get in trouble and get moved over to the diner that they run in Mountain View.  Well, let me tell you that the health department should take a good look at the diner and the way things are done.  The director is an old felon and seems like a good guy when  you are on his side wink wink knudge knudge.  I was promised all these things that are going to occur over a long period of time .  So, I work for you and do all of the shit that you want and I don't get paid I get room and board I understand that's good.  The program is great except that it comes down to a napoleon complex with the director.  So you know who you are you can go FUCK yourself fourteen ways from sunday with caramel on top.

Thank you Chanlyut for teaching me to lie and steal you took an honest man and turned it all around.  thank you your right Change is possible!!!!


P.S.  snitches get stitches, just sayin'

Can I ride you Magic Bus

So, my time in palmer seems to have ended aas I finally made my way into Anchorage.  A wonderful man, Sam gave me a room at the Valley hotel and a ride into ANC.  As I make my way around I meet all kinds of people and to no matter what they are all interesting.  I am really starting to think I need to find somewhere and put pen to paper and really write up my memoirs, but then again who would want to read anything by me. 

So I got into town and I texted a former student of mine from Galena who picked me up from the bus depot, got some grub and put me up for the night.  Jesse, thank you so much I appreciate everything you have done for me and truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. 

I never realized how much a teacher is responsible for their students and how they shape and mould them I hope and pray that I have done a good job by all of my students.  I think this is a common thread for all us educators especially in light of the Newton shootings.  I would do anything to protect my children and I would the same for yours.  God bless all of the teachers out there. 

Ok, that is not where I wanted to go but it went there so be it.

On with the show.

I caught a bus over to Muldoon and found a computer in the library to check my stuff and rant my rant.  and hopefully tomorrow I'll get to see the boys. Looking forward to it.

peace and love to you all,

GordyC

Poem for Newtown

When you put your foot to the ground
you never know what you've found
as you make your way down the trail
every mile, minute or inch feels like a nail in your soul
you take the pain, but you feel no gain as you hit your stride
just forget about your pride
there is not much time inside
into the place without a face
step aside and hold to be
for what we are, we can't quite see
we need to stop and hold the line
and don't tell me that you are fine
there is no rhyme this time
they're dead,
they're gone
and
I
am
sad.

Emmet otter's jug band christmas

Does any one remember Jim Henson's Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas.  It was the best show I ever saw for christmas.  It summed up my life growing up with my mom back in philly and shoveling snow to get money for presents.  We never had much and my mom worked all of the time, she was and always has been a great inspiration to me a true old german woman who will tear you a new one but be there for you in the end.  I have not heard from her since before I went into the dream center I hope she is alright.  I have called and sent letters to no avail.  I do believe that no news is good news, though.

So Why did I get booted out of the Dream Center?  That seems to be the question on everyone's mind it has to do with a number of incidents in which I broke the rules and it ultimately landed me out of the program.  I have nothing but love for the center and the people there.  They are wonderful and I hope to see them all again sometime.  I made some good friends in there and I am hopeful that they will continue while I am on the outside.

Once a person is institutionalized the want for freedom becomes immense and I think that Is what I was after, I never want to be held down and forced to into rules that I don't agree with.  Call me the constant rebel but I believe that we are free for a reason in this nation and I love it to no end. 

The day I was booted out was the day of the Newtown shootings, what a horrible thing to happen and I see that the media and the president are jumping on the 2nd amendment control thing.  There is something to be said for gun control, I don't have one nor do I like them very much, I would rather carry a sword and face a man to face.  The sole purpose for a gun is to kill, hunters use them, I've used them but why do you need an ak-47 to hunt deer I don't understand, no wait I do when it is in your hands you feel in control and it is fun to rattle off those rounds but that is what the range is for.  I would rather hunt with a bow than a gun just because I am afraid of them not the gun itself but what it can do and I am fearful of the person holding the gun.  I don't know what is going through their head at any given time.  I will take my son out for his first hunt when it is time so that I know he respects the tool that he has to feed his family not to be a control mechanism.  So as for gun control I am against registering weapons but I think we need to clamp down on those that purchase guns at shows that might be a bit mental.  I know that it is hypocritical and alot of things that bring balance to the unverse are we just need to look past that.

The need to move forward

I have to rant about this idea that people of Congress are perpetuationg, the earth is only roughly 6 - 10,000 years old.  Once again I rely on my love of History and Science to help the hopeless in understanding how the movers and the shakers have trimmed the conceptual horizon into something more understandable and feasible. (yeah that sounded pretentious, but what the hell it's my blog if you don't like it then bugger off)

Let's take for instance Galileo Galilee, The man who was placed under house arrest for his beliefs and use of the telescope to prove that we are not truly alone when it comes to our little neighborhood in the solar system. Or Rene' DesCartes use of algebra to create a movement of rationalism and coining the phrase, "I think therefore I am" allowing for the realisation that man has within him the potential for understanding his universe,  These and countless other, DaVinci, Michaelangelo, et al. helped to move us from the dark ages into the renaissance and in turn allowed for personal assesment away from dictative dogma set by the growing influence of the church and state. 

The Scientific Revolution allowed us to set aside the outdated traditional thinking and move to a more rational approach to science, medicine, mathematics, language and the arts.  To step up and say in one sweeping assesment that all these years of discovery are simply the by-product of some huge conspiracy to keep the true knowlegde of the Earth's creation is not only foolish but downright ignorant.  As I was raised ignorance is no excuse. 

The hard and fast of it is that science has proven that all things are made of atoms and those atoms make up ccertain molecules into different tissues, organ, and systems or depending on the the molecules different inorganic substances.  All of these molecules have a certain lifetime in which they breakdown, we call this a Half-Life.  We can tell how old something is by reading the carbon atoms and where they are in their life cycle through a technique called Radio-Carbon Dating, say that with me.  Fossils are not placed their by people over the the past thousands of years they are the remnants of living tissue petrified in some manner.

The truth of the matter is this I may be full of shit, science changes everyday just as the church changes it's rules and regs over the years.  There really are no true solid facts in the world, save for a few.  But in the end lets not use religious banter to direct legislation, we have moved beyond that as a society.  Lets look to the best solutions for all involved.

Always remember Ben Franklin's quote, "Beer is proof that God loves us."

GordyC

My New Movie concept

Ok so here we go with my new take on "The Grifters"

Scene one:

Find a an old lady with a pension and a son that is struggling with lots of things.

Scene two: 

Wait for the son to screw up and then move in to get the old ladies attention and get her on your side.

Scene three:

Move the old lady out of state asap providing her with flush funds for the ride.

Scene four: 

Have the old lady send a 1000.00 dollars to help her son with rehab through the church.

Scene five:

Start telling everybody that you have spent your life savings and can't do anything we need that money back and the old lady is now broke.  So we have to put her in a home, but the Air Force pension and social security checks will come into the acount that we have set up for you here at the bank.

Scene Six:

Tell other people that the son can talk to his mom but, Not really...that would screw things up and always listen to the phone calls closely and monitor any and all e-mail accounts.

Scene Seven:
Son gets really pissed off and is ready to bring down holy hell upon Barbie and Skip!!!!

Fuck You Do you think I am that stupid you motherfuckers I am calling you out right now.