Fear and Loathing in Phoenix

I had been hanging outside of the venue waiting for the speech to end up I was covering Trump's Phoenix speech for a local news rag just to keep me a float.  I was outside taking a smoke break when a black limo pulled up and grabbed me from behind.  "Are you ready for the night of your life?"  the very distinct voice came from behind me, it was the Donald!!!  Damn I didn't expect an exclusive or anything "I saw you over there in the press pit and it looked like you needed some time out of the pit."  I didn't know what to say but went along with it all.  Thomas Payne is the name and I am trying to write up an article on you sir, what can you tell me?  "Ahh Fuck that let's have some fun we're gonna go and get a friend of mine to paint this town red.  Hey Walden, the driver, let's go and get Joe.  Next thing I knew we were joined by Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  Damn to right wing nutters in a limo with a libertine this can't end well.

We pulled up to some casino and went in the back way to cut down on the papacrappi  we were whisked into an elevator and up to a hotel room.  "Anything you need we can get for you sir (an Indian porter told me as I cradled my champagne from the waitress outside)"  I sat down and tried to get my mind around what was happening President Donald was yelling orders into a phone while Sheriff Joe rocked back and forth repeating "this is gonna be great"

Ten minutes later a group of girls showed up with a dealer and some casino games.  we had our own private casino in the penthouse suite of some casino in Phoenix that I didn't even know about.  The Donald was doing blow off of the hookers ass while sheriff Joe was running around wanting to be butt fucked by some Latina hooker.  I just sat down and started playing Blackjack.  After about fifty minutes Donald wanted a Mexican Water show and Sheriff Joe wasn't far behind.  I stepped out for a smoke on the patio with a girl named Linda who was corralled into the whole party thing, she was working on her bachelor's at ASU in Nursing and this is how she paid her way through college.  It never bothered me so I gave her my winnings from the Blackjack table.  I asked the porter if he had any whip-its or if he could procure some for me and Linda  in less than five minutes we had a full tank of nitrous oxide keeping us laughing all night long.  We watched while The Donald built a wall of dead soldiers (Tecate he likes the mexicana).  And then demolish it while A half naked Sheriff Joe Bounced around pulling over latina hookers and paying them in blow.  What A night then I called for turkey bowling via room service.  To Be Continued...